I mentioned in a previous post a couple of the devotions I receive via email. One that I did not mention is Jan Richardson’s from her site The Painted Prayerbook. Over Advent, however, I did mention her book that I used for my devotions. Jan is one of the people I would probably include in my list of modern day mystics. Many times, I experience God speaking to me through her art and poetry. Today, was one of those significant days.
Jan is no stranger to grief. She is also no stranger to faith. In that grief after the death of someone we love so dearly and in the faith that God is with us throughout it all, I feel a kinship with her.
Today, is also our daughter Maura’s Birthday. She would have been in her 30s now if she was still living. Even tough it has been over 25 years now since she died, the times around her birthday and the anniversary of her death still cause a sense of heaviness to weigh on me. I have hope for life after death, and in that I can celebrate that she is safe with God and now longer in pain. But there is still that “in between” time we exist in. It is like Holy Saturday in a way. As long as we are living here on this earth, we are in a time of not knowing what is to come. How do we live like that? It is not really a very comfortable place to be.
Then, Jan’s email from her blog post today seemed to echo from deep inside me. Here are her words:
Holy Saturday: Breathe by Jan Richardson – The Painted Prayerbook
So, how do we live here on this earth when our heart is pulled between the here and now and what is to come? I hear God saying to me “Breathe, Just Breathe.”
Does anyone else ever find songs popping into their heads some days? I have looked for this one before, but when I searched for it on Google a Pearl Jam song came up, which was not what I was looking for. But today I found the one I wanted.
Maura 1988
