Why post today? I am not sure but as I was working on this watercolor, it was saying “just keep going.” Admittedly, I was going to give up in it after I put down the first flower petals. The color did not seem right. The symmetry was way off. But, the purpose was the process. All I was doing was putting paint on paper. It was just a form of therapy for me. Plus, watercolor paper is not cheap so I just kept going.
I started thinking about a daily prayer I started following on Facebook towards the beginning of our stay at home orders. I am not sure how I connected with it exactly, but the page is called The Order of the Trinity and the prayers from the Northumbria Community are used. (Note: words in bold are linked if you click on them.)
During Evening Prayer there are phrases said about what God has given us and things that are not always right. Then, at the end of each paragraph the words “Today I believe” are said. Because I was only following along without having the prayers in front of me, I started responding “Today I believe” because it seemed like a response. (Looking at the prayers in print, it does not designate it as such, but it still feels like a response to me.)
As I was painting today, I found myself using those words as a prayer saying things like “even though I have not idea where this painting is going, today I believe”. Or “even though life right now is kinda weird, and I do not what will happen, today I believe.” etc.. I feel all God is asking is that right here, right now I believe. I do not have to worry about the future or the past, just have faith that God is with me right now. I take a breath and say, “okay. I can do that.”
I think it is Brene Brown that talks about being “perfectly imperfect.” There is much imperfection in this painting just as there is in me, this post, and in life. I am working on embracing it all and just breathing. Despite all the awful things going on in our world right now, God is good. Today, I believe.
Early on in the pandemic I ran across a free online watercolor class with UK artist, Este MacLeod. I thought, I have watercolors I have not used in a long time, why not? And I am so glad I did! It opened me up to painting again, which I had not done in ages. It has also become a bit of a habit, albeit a good one, I think.
In trying to figure out what to do with some of what I was creating, I remembered my ignored little shop on Zazzle called Amen, My Friend that I started many years ago. With my computer scanner I have uploaded images of my work and made them into greeting cards.
Blessings,
Christine
